Cowboy Bob Sorensen

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen  On September 20, 2023, my beloved Charlene went to be with the Lord. This was a few weeks after my open-heart surgery and the restrictions that came with it. The grief fog , legal matters, lingering effects from general anesthesia, and other things were an overwhelming combination for me. At one point, I was considering doing a swan dive off the Kingston-Rhinecliff Bridge . I sought out a church when I did not know if she was going to live or die, and the pastor essentially talked me down from the bridge. Kingston-Rhinecliff Bridge from Poet's Walk, Red Hook, NY, Unsplash / Cowboy Bob Sorensen Because of financial problems (I was unable to return to work, for one thing), I had the ideations again. Those have been settled, as I'll demonstrate. First, dental problems. With apprehension and reluctance, I had to go to Westchester Medical Center to have my jaw examined. The route involved crossing that very bridge. I was confident that I could do so without e...

My parents were deceased by the time Charlene and I were married, so I had their wedding rings in my possession. Two sets. The first was plain gold bands, the second was for their 50th anniversary. Those were a bit more ornate with a diamond. We opted for the second set. To wear my father's ring, I had to get it resized downward. It could not go any smaller, but it was still loose on my finger. I took it off for showering and other things, usually setting it on the dresser. One day, I realized it was missing. I never found it, and it has been months — possibly a year. Someone pointed out the look of love on her face when putting the ring on my finger. After Charlene suddenly died, I sought the original wedding ring set from my parents. I wanted to wear one because I still love her, and it was a connection to my father. (Even so, a co-worker tried to fix me up, "When you're ready to move on, I know a nice girl..." She was my wife and best friend, not a hamster to be re...

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen  Some people may picture those of us who mourn as constantly sad, breaking out in unexpected crying jags, but will "get over it" in a few days. Not hardly! People who have joined this exclusive terrible club know that we are forever changed, but sadness and tears become less frequent and are not so easily triggered. Each experience is unique. We may grieve one way for someone, but a completely different way for another. When the grief fog hit me, it had characteristics similar to shock. I was just existing. The idea of having a good day was unthinkable — but it happened. Charlene near shadow of Little Sauble Lighthouse on Lake Michigan, 2005 I am writing this on the nine-month anniversary of her journey to Jesus. While I think of her many times each day and even have some special memories, I am not always saddened by them. On the other hand, there are things I have done where I felt good (such as walking a trail in the woods), they were tempered by my ...

That is a title I never thought I would use, and I came up with it during a discussion with a therapist. While the grief fog and confusion are not as oppressive seven months after I lost my beloved Charlene, there are still things that bring on the tears. Triggered  often means people who have little self-control and try to manipulate others to change their words and ways. The word is still useful, though. In fact, that therapist has used it about the process in coming to terms with, and integrating, grief in our lives. I was triggered by a barge on the Hudson River. Barge on the Hudson River near Malden, NY, Unsplash / Cowboy Bob Sorensen My mother passed away several years ago, and a friend gave me words of wisdom. He told me sorrow can come out of the blue; things will remind me of my mother unexpectedly. That was true. Years have passed, and I can be reminded of my mother, father, oldest brother, and others without crying. Something inaccurately cited by many is the "stages of...

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen  Waking up just before 5 the AM alarm, I try to be quiet and do not stomp around — unlike some folks. The sun has not shown itself in these parts yet. Early spring, but so far, it has been cold and rainy more often than not. Mostly silent outside...and then, "Chirpity derp, chirpity derp." The robin wants to get things going with the morning song. It worked. The northern cardinal selects one of many songs, one I say is, "Birdie birdie birdie tweet tweet tweet tweet ." Robin and bluebird, Birds of New York , Louis Agassiz Fuertes , 1912 The robin is the state bird of Michigan, where I spent my first forty years. (During the day and especially the evening, they are so fussy , clucking and scolding...) After my first marriage failed, I moved to New York to be with Charlene — in almost the same map latitude. When she died seven months ago, a part of me died with her and I did not want to go on. But she would want me to do just that. Charlene loved...

It is Easter again , the time when many professing Christians observe the bodily Resurrection of Jesus, God the Son, from the dead. On such an important time, we should be seriously examining Good Friday as well as Resurrection Sunday. Unfortunately, many of us make several mistakes. The most obvious is that we take it lightly and go through our routines and rituals. Those are functional and even fun. We need to also consider things we do wrong, and also how Easter gives us hope in several ways. Resurrection wooden art, Pixabay / CP This post was written in 2023, partly with the idea that it would appear even if I had died before the scheduled date. I edited in this paragraph. Something worse for me happened. I lost my beloved wife Charlene, who was also my best friend, in September of 2023. She and Jesus are waiting for me, along with others who have gone before. Although some professing Christians join with atheists in denying it, the Resurrection is a historical fact . The obvious ...

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen  When I went to pick up my order at the diner, the guy running the cash register did not ask if this was a special occasion. Nor did I offer because this is a day when strong tears are on a hair trigger. It is the first wedding anniversary I have had to experience without my beloved Charlene. It hurts so much, but I thank God that he let me have over twenty years with her. People say that she still lives in me, in my memories. We need to use that and get a bigger picture. Charlene and Bob wedding vows January 21, 2006, modified at PhotoFunia In our past few months together, we were both realizing that neither of us had anyone who cared, so there was nobody to whom we can pass along pictures, meaningful decorations, or anything else. Certain things meant a great deal to us here and now, but that's it. Charlene touched some lives, and those people were glad to have known her. How long until they forget? A 1977 song by Blue Öyster Cult called "Goin' Thr...

This weblog will focus on my grieving process for a while, and I hope that it will help some people who are going through these things as well. Everyone grieves sometime, but not the same way. There is no "getting over it." Some of these will be short, some long. Music has power. It can influence moods and even cause excitement (such as with rallying songs chosen as anthems). Some become a part of us while others have poor lyrics that were only effective because of the delivery and production. Songs can take us back to times in our lives, both good and bad. I'll hear a song now and remember how Charlene liked it. Some make me think of her even if she didn't know them. She told me that she was playing mix CDs in her car that I had made her years ago. I had label and case insert-printing software, and had fun doing it. What is seen here may be the very first one I made for her. (The picture was taken in the lantern area of the Rondout Lighthouse, and it was quite a feat...

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen A spell back, I wrote about an employee  showing professionalism in a big box store . A customer was ranting about how he was supposedly insulted by another employee, and this one had to hear about it. After a few subsequent visits, I got to know the guy at the store and we had some discussions. One day over lunch, the employee that I will call Aaron gave me some surprising insights into that company and its policies. Those are quite a distance from the vision of the company founder! Image information below This company used to believe in people and listen to employees and customers alike, but I see quality sacrificed for profit. Aaron told me of a revolving door of employees that come in, work for a while, then quit or get fired. While they have some real gems that have worked in this company for many years, many of the younger workers just don't care. You can't find that plaid sheet set that the app says is on the shelf? Try looking behind the boxes of ...

Wow, Christmas already? It feels like a year...okay, it happens that way. This post is a follow-up of sorts to " Christmas is More than People Think ", and it would be helpful to read the article linked there before reading this one. Helpful, but not essential. Most professing Christians and some people who give a nod to it celebrate Christmas. Ask them what it means, you will be told that the Son of God was born. There is far more involved than that simple answer provides. Pixabay / Gerd Altmann As a child raised in the Untied Methodist Church (misspelling intentional), I learned my best theology from the hymns and public reading-mumblings of the creeds in the back of the hymnals. My understanding was still very weak, however. I have a vague recollection of getting on the prod when someone said that Jesus is God: "No he isn't! He's the Son  of God!" Later came knowledge of the Trinity: God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. Then the phrase, ...

This Easter has a deeper meaning for me. Thinking about the bodily Resurrection of Jesus, but it is also the anniversary of the birth of my late father. He, too, had that blessed hope. I will meet him, my mother, my oldest brother, and others in Heaven who have gone before. Credit: Flickr / Kristin Klein  ( CC BY 2.0 ) If anyone was looking for a longer post, yes, I've been busy: Answering Good Friday and Easter Questions  (putting to rest false claims of Easter and Good Friday paganism) The True Source of Life The Other Resurrections (especially that puzzling passage in Matthew 27:50-54) Moses and the Resurrection of Jesus?

During tumultuous times, celebrating the birth of Jesus is a stark reminder to Christians that we have hope. This hope is not based in humanity. Instead, we need to focus on how God the Son left Heaven and became the man Jesus for our salvation. Credit: Pixabay / falco He did not come to make everything into our best lives now. In fact, following Jesus involves sacrifice and persecution; it is not a lazy tinhorn's religion like atheism. But we are given eternal salvation, adoption as sons and daughters of the living God, purpose, victory over death, and much more. I'm not going to take much more of your time, unless you have a hankering to see what I've done for this Christmas season. I'd be much obliged if you'd watch the "flash mob" video. Look for how people are awestruck around the 4 min. 23 sec. mark. Okay, the other posts: Why the Genealogies of Jesus are Important Christmas — Relatively Speaking The REAL Mother of Jesus

In the interest of personal independence, I set up an autonomous zone on Fazebook all by my lonesome. I can do whatever I want and am answerable to nobody. How good is that? What I did was simply set up shop and declare it my own and nobody can question it or disagree. The actual image is of the Oklahoma Territory flatlands, North West Round Pond, 1894 Let me rephrase my earlier question: How stupid is that? While Facebook allows people some latitude (especially leftists, atheists, and anti-Semites) we're at their mercy. They are also supposed to follow laws, and so are users of their platform. Page owners and other users can be shut down (my own profile was shut down illegally and I was not told why "for security reasons"). They delete the account if I do the usual things that get accounts deleted. My assertions are worthless. I can say "Mine!" until the cows come home, but that doesn't make anything mine. People can declare that they have right...

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen When a pet passes away, many owners feel profound sorrow. After all, it is not just an organism, but a member of the family. I am struggling to write this. The problem is compounded for us because on May 20, 2020, we had to take that awful trip to the vet and also my sister-in-law passed away. I will not discuss her for the sake of family privacy and to guard against trolling. One of my best pictures of her was impulsive and is actually in color and unmodified. She was giving me that loving look that touched my heart so often. Looking and Remembering When she was small, we would play Furry Slipper. She would latch onto my foot with claws and teeth, then I could sweep the bare floor. That stopped when her play became too enthusiastic and a bite gave me pasteurella . I also see the big stuffed animal that my wife got her for Christmas one year and how she would smurgle and make with the boomerang ears. Walking through the apartment, I stop and picture...

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen  When I heard about the video Planet of the Humans  that was released free to the public, I had to check myself for consistency and minimize my personal hypocrisy. This movie challenged me to put things I've learned into practice. Credit: Freeimages /  Andrew Purtell Could I view this film honestly and objectively, putting my personal feelings aside? For that matter, could I accurately utilize the logic and critical thinking that I've been learning and teaching for several years? After all, far too many people (especially atheists and leftists) "think" with their emotions. The genetic fallacy involves rejecting something simply because of its source: A high standard to set is to consider information and possibly learn something despite where it originated. (This can be adjusted when the source is demonstrably biased and unreliable: There's no point in seeking truth about Donald Trump from the New York Times  or CNN, nor is acc...