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Being a Cowboy to Get that Position

Wow, it has been quite a while since I posted here! I try to do it once a month but failed on that. The series on why that atheist hates me will continue once things get stabilized in my life. Got some ideas I want to work into it.

Some years ago, someone saddled me (heh!) with the nickname Cowboy Bob, and I got the bit in my teeth and galloped with it. Although I don't know nothin' 'bout no hayburners, it fits the attitude inside. I realized that "cowboy" fits me, and I learned that my father was also a cowboy at heart.

Pre-employment drug testing, Flickr / Cambodia, P.I Network (CC BY 2.0)

Being a venomous snake wrangler at Universal Widgets* has its perks, is interesting, and even fun. I can ride into town for supplies, see Stormie Waters and other friends, and even visit with some of the hands at the Darwin Ranch like Rusty Swingset (yes, there are a few where we can shake hands and part friendly). But I wanted something else in my employment, so I applied for a supervisory position.

A new possibility came along, and I wouldn't have to relocate. There were some setbacks, and I even wondered if God was sending me signs to leave it alone. Here's what happened.

I applied for the position online, and received notification that I had been accepted. Yee haw! Interestingly, I had not met the personnel manager, and the hiring interview was a brief one over the phone.

However, I had to take a pre-employment drug test. It's been over forty years since I smoked a doobie, so that would be out of my system — unless there could be a false positive from second-hand smoke from the potheads that live in this building. They smoke like chimneys... Nah, unlikely. And I don't do recreational drugs. Oh well, The Company can't take my word for it. Why should they?

Then things got challenging.

The notice said I had twenty-four hours to get the thing done. Fine, it's not far away, and it was late in the day anyway. Plenty of time.

The next morning, I saddled up and rode to the testing place. When requesting admittance, the nurse said my name was not on her list. Wait, what? She looked at my notification and said, "Your company canceled their contract with us last week without notice. We don't know why."

Time to cowboy up.

I went home and got on the site where I had selected the testing place and tried to change it to the other one that was offered. No dice. I tried to call The Company, but they had phone problems.

So I saddled up again and went straight to their office, then requested the personnel manager. She was contacted, and I was given admittance. (Interesting time to finally meet.) I told her the problem and that time is running out, and she was taken aback by the contract's cancellation.

Someone else came into the office (possibly her superior), and said to go to that other place anyway. The number I had been issued would also be good there. Well, I didn't have any kind of actual appointment, but had nothing to lose and headed up there straightaway.

When I explained the situation, the receptionist made it happen. Things are strict on these tests because people cheat, which means sneaking in clean urine to substitute. Went through all the steps and got it done in the required time frame.

Then there was the other problem.

I had to consent to a background check. That thing came back reallyveryfast, but some of the wording puzzled me. Something about an invalid social security number. Again: Wait, what? I called the number on the report and was reassured that there would be red flags all over the report if I had entered an incorrect number, so I was fine.

While waiting for results, I asked God to forgive my worrying, strengthen my faith, and to trust his will in all things. I believe in doing my part, because he gave us minds and expects us to use them. I mounted up and rode to the personnel office on the next Monday. It turned out that everything was fine. In fact, it was my first day! Sit down, we have things to do.

Because I was being cautious about that social security number thing, I brought the card itself and other forms of identification. Good, they needed those anyway. 

Christians should know that in jobs or whatever, God puts us in places for his own reasons. We can learn and grow in various ways. How long we stay, that's up to him. He may call us to move on, like he did with me. Trust and faith are essential.

*My social media policy is that the public doesn't need to know where I work, so I can use obvious creativity and a bit of humor instead.

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