She May Have Saved My Life

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen 

Back in the late 1990s, I was in a loveless marriage and wanted to end it. By 1998, I was just existing and willing to let my psyche die. Charlene found me on AOL one evening, and we talked through the messenger almost every night for a year before we actually met in person. In a way, we knew each other inside out, sharing thoughts and feelings. We grew to love each other. I did not think I could be loved.

From our first happy meeting in 1999, taken with a crummy disposable camera

Charlene loved me before we met in person, and I started to come back to life inside. The execution of my own consciousness was halted, and I reckon that she saved my life; I may have not waited for the slow demise and hastened the process. This was still before we met. I wrote a couple of poems that are pretty dreadful about her.

The poems were posted online and the property they were on disappeared, but I was able to find them again. I posted under an assumed name, so even though they are awful, they are heartfelt and I am claiming my copyright now. Here is the first one.

Charred *

Everything was going as planned:
Marble structures soaring high,
Intruder alarms in place –
a fortress worthy of pride.

One day, the defences were lax –
a hole was poked in a wall!
Someone was looking inside,
and a voice began to call.

The hole grew larger, bringing light.
The gentle voice was clearer;
contact was made with the outside,
and the intruder drew nearer.

She stepped into the room with me
and I warily watched her.
She awakened hidden things
I didn’t want to remember.

These walls still provide some refuge.
Many are broken and charred.
She can come in any time –
with others, I’m still on guard!

Dear lady, you’ve changed my life,
and freely given me love.
Never thought I could feel again,
or even see the sun above!

Copyright © 1999, 2023 by Robert N. Sorensen
This song is for and about my beloved Charlene. You made life worth living! [This was in the original posting.]

*A play on her name, as she was sometimes called Char.

We were able to see Aaron Tippin at a fair. He gave a good performance.