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Bright Boy Goofs on Laundry Day

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen  This is a lighter subject, but first, some background is needed. A spell back, I wrote an article that should be practical for bereaved people as well as those who are not going through grief. It involved having routines. I lost my wife, and she was also my best friend for about twenty-four years. The grief fog (kind of like being in shock) was heavy in me, and caused much confusion. Be kind to those who mourn, they are often not thinking clearly. And very tired. My laundry needs are simple because I am alone: Everything in one machine, wash in cold water. (Detergents have improved over the years, and clothes come out well.) But I detest shrinking shirts, so those don't go in the dryer. I live near Laundroland (my name for it, not theirs), so I bring home the shirts and put them on hangers and on the shower curtain bar to dry. Cooler becomes laundry tote The hamper gets carted back and forth, and my rule is to empty out the damp clothes, then put it in fro

Routines for Survival in Difficult Times

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen  Although my focus these days is on bereavement, this article will be useful to many people, grieving now or not. My hope is that people will see my experiences and adapt them as needed for their own unique situations. We all grieve differently from each other, and for people in our lives; the reactions I had for each of my parents and my oldest brother were varied. Their passing was not unexpected — unlike my beloved wife Charlene. (It has been almost seven months, and I cried writing these words.) Grief is not depression, but my lifelong struggle with it complicates matters. Part of me died with her. The Grief Fog When a loved one passes on, it is common to have a grief fog  hit us: We go into a kind of shock. Thinking is impaired, and bereavement counselors as well as booklets advise us to avoid making major decisions whenever possible unless a trusted advisor is available. (Sleeplessness often accompanies grief, making things worse.) This fog can linger, stro