Cowboy Bob Sorensen

 by Cowboy Bob Sorensen  This may sound callous, but I have mixed feelings about not having to answer to Charlene. Do not disunderstand me, she did not police or nag me, but I wanted to please her. That was often in the back of my mind. Now I have used this dubious freedom and let things go, even developing some bad habits. (Those have to change.) I have a reluctance to do some things because she is not here and I want her input. When it comes to finances, I have to plow ahead. Shopping cart with groceries, Unsplash / Karsten Winegeart Some things I say as a widower in a one-bedroom apartment obviously will not apply to many people, but mayhaps there are some things that people can draw from or adapt to their own situations. Further these things may apply to those who are not bereaved. As I said before, Charlene would not want my life to come to a halt because hers did. She would want me to survive and even thrive, doing what's best for me. Rent costs and electric usage are mo...

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen Wording adjusted December 7, 2024  Although my focus these days is on bereavement, this article will be useful to many people, grieving now or not. My hope is that people will see my experiences and adapt them as needed for their own unique situations. We all grieve differently from each other, and for people in our lives; the reactions I had for each of my parents and my oldest brother were varied. Their passing was not unexpected — unlike my beloved wife Charlene. (It has been almost seven months, and I cried writing these words.) Grief is not depression, but my lifelong struggle with it complicates matters. Part of me died with her. The Grief Fog When a loved one passes on, it is common to have a grief fog  hit us: We go into a kind of shock. Thinking is impaired, and bereavement counselors as well as booklets advise us to avoid making major decisions whenever possible unless a trusted advisor is available. (Sleeplessness often accompanies grief, maki...