Being Forgotten but Making an Impact

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen 

When I went to pick up my order at the diner, the guy running the cash register did not ask if this was a special occasion. Nor did I offer because this is a day when strong tears are on a hair trigger. It is the first wedding anniversary I have had to experience without my beloved Charlene.

It hurts so much, but I thank God that he let me have over twenty years with her. People say that she still lives in me, in my memories. We need to use that and get a bigger picture.

Charlene and Bob wedding vows January 21, 2006, modified at PhotoFunia

In our past few months together, we were both realizing that neither of us had anyone who cared, so there was nobody to whom we can pass along pictures, meaningful decorations, or anything else. Certain things meant a great deal to us here and now, but that's it. Charlene touched some lives, and those people were glad to have known her. How long until they forget?

A 1977 song by Blue Öyster Cult called "Goin' Through the Motions" has the bridge:

To thee, I dedicate this photograph
I'll even sign it "love to you" again
And when it's faded and forgotten in some book
You'll sometimes look

Sort of like looking through a high school yearbook, all those people forgotten over the years...

I am a strong supporter of using online calendars and use the function that many possess of not only setting up events and appointments, but also sending reminders. Because the grief fog caused me to doubt my mental capabilities at times, and because my father died not knowing who he was, I have been adding details in case I am fading.

Memento mori... Taking her clothes to charity, giving away some of her other possessions — then I consider my own. Nobody wants these things that I spent a great deal of time and money collecting. Maybe one year, maybe two years in this place and I may move on. In the meantime I can sell off certain things online, give things away, and all that good stuff.

People want to leave a legacy. That has been mentioned by politicians, but whoever is writing down the memories may not be favorable to the person. After a great deal of time passes, they are a footnote in history. Us reg'lar folk may be mentioned in an archive somewhere, but time marches on.

Will my legacy be with starting Question Evolution Day? Nah. That and my other activities online may not last. In my view of the end times, the Antichrist will probably have Christian material scrubbed from the internet. Or, with the rising tide of militant atheo-fascism, the same kind of thing will happen.

There can be a ripple effect. Lives touched may impact other lives, then they impact others over the years, not knowing the original source. We can influence our families, friends, society, community, maybe more. Leave the world a better place, hopefully those in the future will do the same.

In an atheistic worldview, those concepts of having an impact on someone somewhere is the best they can hope for. Then you're worm food with your name on a headstone, or you are in an urn.

This may be like reading the book of Ecclesiastes, where the Preacher tried all kinds of things for meaning and happiness, and said that "all is vanity." The only hope for meaning is to get right with the Creator of the universe, who took the form of the man Jesus, died on a cross for our sins, and defeated death.

I cried very hard today, but as I've said before, I will see her again. People we've impacted and influenced for Christ will be among those we meet in Heaven. Our legacy is in Jesus, and he knows our names. You can make things right with God and join us.