Springtime Reminders of Life During Sorrow

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen 

Waking up just before 5 the AM alarm, I try to be quiet and do not stomp around — unlike some folks. The sun has not shown itself in these parts yet. Early spring, but so far, it has been cold and rainy more often than not. Mostly silent outside...and then, "Chirpity derp, chirpity derp." The robin wants to get things going with the morning song. It worked. The northern cardinal selects one of many songs, one I say is, "Birdie birdie birdie tweet tweet tweet tweet."

Robin and bluebird, Birds of New York, Louis Agassiz Fuertes, 1912

The robin is the state bird of Michigan, where I spent my first forty years. (During the day and especially the evening, they are so fussy, clucking and scolding...) After my first marriage failed, I moved to New York to be with Charlene — in almost the same map latitude. When she died seven months ago, a part of me died with her and I did not want to go on.

But she would want me to do just that.

Charlene loved the "backyard birds" and they were almost her pets. She gave peanuts to blue jays and woodpeckers, seeds and nuts to other birds. They gave her joy, and we both learned quite a bit about them. This is my first spring without her, and hearing the chirps and songs of birds brings a flood of several emotions. One is sorrow that we can't enjoy the birds together at home and on our outings.

There's another feeling deep inside. Our Creator has designed life to go on. Not just survive through programmed routines, but thrive as well. Birds are calling to mates, buds are growing on trees, plants are sprouting, people are feeling better after the long cold and darkness of winter. Charlene would want me to not only continue my existence, but to keep doing things and trying to find some happiness.

She would also want me to continue doing the Lord's work. It's not easy, nosiree, and I have questions. But I have to cowboy up and forge ahead, focusing on the truth of God's Word and the knowledge that she and I will be together again.

"Birdie birdie birdie there is blessed hope!"