Would She Love Me Today?

by Cowboy Bob Sorensen 

Before I get into the more thoughtful ponderings, here is something a mite humorous. I "inherited" from Charlene a George Foreman "Beyond" 7-in-1 grill. I do not think she used most of the functions aside from the air fryer. Me, neither, at first.

It took 2-1/2 years for me to realize something. A supermarket sells fish portions in containers that can go in the oven. The grill has a bake function and has, plenty of room for the container. So, I baked it.

Pizza in George Foreman Beyond, 7-in-1 Grill

The next day, I tried a single-serving pizza (in which I lived up to the "abuser of food" part of my X profile) and added some canned sauerkraut halfway through baking. Both items turned out fine. This means I don't have to turn on the big oven in warm weather for small stuff. In fact, I can put an oven-safe plate in there to heat things. I'm going to experiment. Mayhaps I'll try the "roast" setting...

A spell back, I wrote about how there are changes in my mind and spirit other than what should be obvious in bereavement. While I get a mite lonely at times, I plan on staying alone (my time is precious and I am not a dating performance artist.) Although I think about my departed darling several times a day, it is not as often. Not crying in the shower or while driving — far fewer sob sessions lately. She wouldn't like how I let this apartment get rather cluttered, she wanted more tidiness.

Early on, having routines was important for my survival. Several of them I keep even now. However, I also know that while routines are important, we can enslave ourselves by getting obsessed with rigidly keeping to them. Now I am modifying or leaving some aside.

The changes in me seem to be for the better. Even my personality has had some changes. I think my spiritual life is improving as well. 

Don't be disunderstanding me as I try to get these thoughts out, I'm not glad she's gone! What is happening is that I'm capitalizing on my situation and following the Lord's leading.

Would she still love me today? That question has occurred to me several times lately. Unfortunately, I do not have a link to a post I saw. It happened about the time I was wondering if she would love me now. In it, someone asked a man his secret to staying married to his wife for fifty years. He said you love a different woman every day. He continued about loving her through the circumstances and changes in her life over the years.

Would she love me if we met today? That could be an exercise in absurdity, there is no way to know.

Someone pointed out that it should work both ways. That is, she was loving him through his changes as well. (Remember I said I wasn't crying much anymore? I just did.) I changed over the years that we were together, and so did she. It was gradual. So I think that yes, she loved me in the past through my changes, and me through hers, then Charlene would love me today.

People should not be afraid to change. Yes, keep memories and some mementos. Stay in routines. But we need to keep growing or we are dying. You savvy that, pilgrim?

The video that follows is strictly secular and I do not fully endorse it, but there are some points worth considering: